(Thought I’d upload my recent comics to Tumblr! I totally forgot it only lets you upload 10 pics at a time, and this is 11, but fingers crossed it works!)
Go and think about what kinds of relationships you want. Don’t think about labels like romantic or platonic or sexual, think purely about what relationships would make you happiest.
When I realized I was aromantic, I was asked things like “Would you still date? Would you have a QPR? Will you ever kiss?”
But the aromantic community didn’t ask that. Instead, they focused on “What do you want in a world where anything is possible?”
And I realized I want to be alone, surrounded by friends and family I love who are close enough, I can bring them fresh baked scones when I overbake.
They asked me “What do you want?” and the question was so broad, I could weigh labels in my hand like queerplatonic partner and nonpartnering and significant other. I could look at these and shrug and say, “What I want is to not worry about questions I don’t care about.” I could shelve these indefinitely. Maybe even forever. And just enjoy being myself.
The aromantic community celebrates exploration. Tells people asking if they are aromantic, “This is a personal decision. Your personal decision. If this label helps you, take it. If this community helps you, stay as long as you need. You don’t have to be labelled anything, aromantic or otherwise, unless it would bring you comfort. You don’t have to be anything you aren’t.”
It’s a good community with good philosophies born from a unique experience, not rooted in missing out, but in being forced to consider what you want when you don’t want what’s expected.
The Russian Santa Claus in Siberia (The eastern part of Russia situated in Asia). He’s known as Ded Moroz. -Merry Xmas from Universal Beauty
Winner of the Best-Dressed Santa Award, hands down!
meanwhile this level 100 wizard
Not quite. This is Yakutian Chys Khan, Ded Moroz’s northern “brother”. Russian Federation is a melting pot of different cultures, it’s not just slavs, don’t forget that.
This is Ded Moroz (a.k.a. Father Frost)
And here they are together
wow, don’t forget Snegurochka, his daughter, the snow maiden, who always accompanies him. She has a beautifuk kokoshnik crown that is essentially a big snowflake
or, more contemporarily, a cute toque
don’t leave her out :(
Ooh
Since this is back to my dash, I’ll add some more mebers to the Snow Wizard family!
Buryatian Sagan Ubugun
Samoyedan Yamal-iri
Evenkia has a female one, Tugeni Enekehn, Mother Winter
Udurmutian Tol Babai
Karelian Pakkaine, the youngest one, he doesn’t even have a beard.
There are more. They annualy host “summits” and visit each-other across Russia.
(obligatory disclaimer: agreeing or disagreeing with one or more of these does not necessarily make you ace or NOT ace, your experience will vary!)
You’re not sure if you’ve ever felt sexual attraction.
You’re not even sure what ‘sexual attraction’ is vs. other types of attraction
You’ve ever had to just pick a person (celebrity or otherwise) that you had a ‘crush’ on in order to fit in with your peers (regardless of gender)
You’ve felt pressured to pursue relationships because “that’s just what everyone does”
You’ve felt pressured to kiss/touch/have sex with someone because “that’s just what everyone does”
Your peers being obsessed with sex makes you feel deeply uncomfortable or excluded
You’ve tried to mimic sex jokes or sexualized behaviors in order to fit in with your peers.
You’ve ever felt like “well, I guess must be bi/pan because my level of attraction towards everyone is the same” (and that sameness feeling isn’t actually, y’know, sexual attraction) (I’m just saying you’d be surprised how many aces start off identifying as bisexual or pansexual and then realize they are bi/pan ace or aro ace)
People having crushes/dating/having sex feels like a joke and you’re pretty sure everyone else is also faking or exaggerating their attractions (but then you realize they’re Not)
There are times when you suddenly remember that other people Fuck in real life, with Each Other, and it’s surreal as hell
The entire topic of sex is repulsive to you, or your just don’t understand why other people care about it so much.
You don’t understand people who complain if they go without sex for X days.
You don’t understand why people cheat (in real life or media), no matter how “hot” the person they cheated with is.
You’re fine thinking about sex as a vague concept, or even other people having sex (especially in fiction and/or on video) but when the topic of sex involves you personally, (or real life people) it’s a big nope.
Sexual jokes, innuendo, or flirting tends to go over your head often.
You have no interest or desire to masturbate and don’t get why other people do.
You enjoy masturbation but you’d be fine going without it.
You enjoy masturbation and can’t understand why some people claim that it isn’t “enough” for them vs having sex.
The idea of the “honeymoon night” (or other implied social sexual contracts, like a date expecting sex in return for dinner/being nice) fills you with dread.
The idea of having sex is strange or upsetting for you.
You enjoy sex but you’d be fine going without it.
You enjoy sex but can’t understand why some people seem addicted to it.
Sex is something you enjoy (or endure) moreso to have intimacy with your partner or because you want them to be pleased.
You’ve ever told someone you don’t want a relationship/don’t want to have sex, and they felt sorry for you or acted like you’re weird even though you’re perfectly happy.
Bonus:
You might be Grey Asexual if:
You’ve definitely felt sexual attraction (maybe) but it’s a rare occurrence
(Not to be confused with having a libido)
You might be Demisexual if:
You’ve definitely felt sexual attraction (maybe) but it was only after getting to know someone really well and only for that person (and even then, it might come and go at times)
If you find many of these things relatable, you might wanna look deeper into asexuality!
*- Please note that whether or not you have a libido is not a qualifying factor for whether or not you are ace. Some aces have zero desire or need to masturbate, for instance, others do masturbate. Some aces will even have sex to satisfy that drive. Feeling aroused is not the same as sexual attraction. This might sound confusing, but trust me it makes sense when you’re in this situation.
*- Also note that whether you have positive feelings towards sex (for other people or yourself), indifference to sex, or are triggered/repulsed by sex, also has no bearing on whether or not you are asexual. Allosexual people can also be positive, indifferent, or repulsed by sex, especially certain actions.
*- Ultimately, you are ace if you don’t experience sexual attraction, but since it’s a really freaking difficult task to recognize the absence of something you don’t even feel, this list might help some aces figure themselves out! ♥
(Feel free to add more! Aphobes and exclusionists, don’t interact)
You might be aegosexual if:
- you enjoy absorbing sexual content but it’s never about yourself
- you like reading smut in third person but find first person to be a huge turn off
- you daydream about sexual situations but the people in the daydreams aren’t yourself (or typically even other real people- but your OCs or fictional characters)
- find yourself looking at attractive people thinking “yeah they’re hot but I don’t want to DO ANYTHING with them”
- imagining the sensory experience of sex makes you question whether it could really feel good as good as it is in your mind
A tip that might be useful in identifying sexual attraction from aesthetic/physical attraction:
If you see someone that you find attractive and your (next) thought about them is wondering what they’re like in bed or visualizing what you’d like to do to/with them in a sexual manner, that is sexual attraction.
Alternatively, if you see someone attractive and you think “wow, they’re pretty/beautiful/handsome/etc,” and nothing further comes from that, that’s aesthetic/physical attraction
Okay I hadn’t ever thought about this! This is a good distinction!
